Monday, May 11, 2015

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was extremely low-key. Even for us, haha. Saturday morning through early afternoon Mia ran errands with David, they had a lot of fun, but close to the end she became oddly quiet. By the time they came home, she just wanted to snuggle up with me. I was growing suspicious, and sure enough, before I knew it, she was throwing up all over me! Eww, poor girl. The rest of the day was spent snuggling, being watchful with a bucket, and changing out blankets. She and I spent the night on the fold out couch, trying to keep liquids in her. About 4:30 in the morning, she popped straight up and said, "I'm hungry and thirsty" and ate half a burrito and drank some water. She slept quite a bit after that.

 By morning I was feeling a little put out, after being up most of the night I had to make my own coffee, grr. Everybody else slept in, because "Mother's Day".  I cut myself a piece of peanut butter cheesecake and grumbled a bit. Finally everyone started getting up, David was sweet and went to get me chocolate croissants and Dutch Bros coffee. He and the kids gave me my presents; the flowers in the white vase, a portable phone charger (I had borrowed Rachel's while she was visiting, so handy!!) and a drill of my own to keep in the house, haha! I just laid on the couch all day with Mia, who would get up and run around for short spurts, then crawl back up and sleep. I watched several movies on tv, which was kind of nice, but usually something I enjoy more during stormy or rainy weather. I had been planning to start sewing a quilt for my bed, buy, hey. What better way to celebrate Mother's Day than being a mom!  Later in the night Scott came by after work, he's just started cooking at a pub and is really enjoying it. He brought me the smaller glass vase of flowers and this hilarious "MoM Hefeweizen" made with rose petals. He wrote a really beautiful, sweet letter on the card he gave me, which I will be keeping! Such a sweet kid, we struggled with him so much when he was young, he was so filled with hurt. So many days were spent just begging God to help us get through the moment, not to mention the day. To help us to not just *react* to him. I've seen so many children/grown children acting out today, and so many judgmental people complaining about adults not controlling their children. I kind of get it, but we live in a time of such a mixed understanding and expectation. We put our kids through so much and get mad when they don't know how to cope. Everything is someone else's fault or because of some condition, anyway. Morality has been tossed out the window, being akin to a judgmental, self-righteous kind of people. 

How would one "control" their child without beating them,anyway? Why should anyone be "controlling" their child? Silliness. Why can't people focus on raising children who love and respect people, make good choices, but have grace and compassion when they fail? Those children won't need to be controlled, only led. Today it's judgmental and wrong even in churches for christians to show concern for a fellow member falling away. Morality has never been a bad thing, it is protective and nurturing when done without hypocrisy and judgmental attitudes. We live in a time when few people can recognize the difference between "judgmental" and "having judgment". A time when what we want is more important than what is best for us. A time that treats teenagers like children who are supposed to know how to be functioning adults upon high school graduation. As difficult as Scott's youth was, we learned a lot about parenting and taking a different path. Having him is what gave us the conviction and strength to homeschool our other kids. We learned how important a healthy heart is, Scott was in so much emotional pain that school was genuinely unimportant and just silly. Although I am not against public school (on the contrary, before we moved back to Astoria, we had a wonderful school, with really wonderful teachers), I have seen firsthand how ill matched many schools are with most of today's kids. I'll go on about that some other time, I didn't really mean to go on in this post, but it is good to see that trusting what I knew about my son and us. I allowed him to drop out after his "Sophomore" year (he in no way had enough credits to ever graduate on  time, and here, if a student takes longer than four years to finish high school, they are considered a dropout), and it was the best decision I could have made for him. He moved out, dog-paddled his way through life for a few years. He will be 23 in June and has already lived his hard years - not that hard things might not still come to him, of course, but his emotional well being is so much better than it ever was. He loves his family so much, and can express it now. He is an intelligent man, and should he decide to get his GED or even diploma, I know he'll be surprised at how easy it will be for him. Even without either, he is doing the job he wanted to do. He's always enjoyed cooking and has had an easy time getting the job he wants. He's going to be trying to get a job on a fish processing boat (still cooking), it will be a sacrifice because he would be out for months at a time, but it is a job that pays very well. His very sweet girlfriend is supportive of him, which is huge. In the mean time, he was recently offered two local jobs, both knowing he was going to be trying for the job on the boat, and willing for him to come back after he's done. 
Back to yesterday! I'd seen these pillowcases on ebay, unfortunately they were for bid only. I generally avoid bidding like the plague, I prefer Buy It Now! The blue is the color of my bedroom walls, so I've been watchful. There was only one bidder all week, and they were at $8.99.  The bid ended yesterday, and after only one bidder for a week, there were four others by evening. I finally threw my bid in, with a top bid of $40. A little steep for pillowcases, but I figured... Mother's Day (big sheepish grin). I didn't want to look after the bid closed, and was still feeling a little iffy about the $40 if I happened to win. Would David kill me over $40 pillowcases, haha? I finally checked, and I won! For $14.00!!!!! Now that I feel pretty good about! I can't wait to finally get our room together. Planning to start on my quilt later today, but must get the kids set up with their schoolwork first. David is picking up another project for me after he gets off work today. One I know he's a bit stressed about, but I'll share that tomorrow. David made steak and eggs for dinner, and it was so good! He had wanted something fancier or take out (I usually love Chinese takeout for small holidays) but the dinner he made completely hit the spot. I really did have a lovely Mother's Day, and after getting better sleep last night, I do feel better today, anyway. Only a couple wake-ups with Mia through the night, then David quietly got himself ready for work without waking us up, so we got to sleep later. 

How was your Mother's Day?

Friday, May 8, 2015

Loss and Life

Playing with Grandma's phone!

Mia "reading" to Alaina, who loves books - Emma actually read several to her, with her fully attentive the whole time!

grabbing momma's face for kisses!

He really was happy to be holding her, haha! Also, that's paint on Emma's arm, I'm realizing it looks like a horrible burn or something!

No crafty stuff, Just some pictures of my beautiful, happy grandbaby. We ended a month of funerals with a wonderful though short visit from my daughter and Alaina. We lost three people in a matter of weeks. How does it seem to really come in three's? So weird. First, we lost a really good neighbor. My husband and I grew up with his two kids. My husband almost literally, as we live on the same street he grew up on. One of his brothers does, too. It was very sudden and rather a shock to all of us. He was one of those men who had an impact on so many people, had helped so many people, but didn't go telling everyone. He just did, quietly. Which was funny, because he really wasn't a "quiet" guy, haha. We will miss him, but his family is moving into his home, which will be nice. Second, was another man from our neighborhood, though he and his wife moved when he retired. He was a retired Deputy, David grew up with his kids, too. Wonderful man, wonderful family. He had been ill and in a care center where my dad (who is retired State Police and knew him quite well) had been visiting him, hoping he was mending. He had apparently gotten Cody to laugh pretty well and cheered him up some. If anyone can get someone to laugh, it's my dad! Third was the hard one for me, and most unexpected. He was also retired State Police, my dad had been his coach and he'd been an uncle/big brother to me for years. He was only in his early 50's, healthy, jogged everyday, but had a heart attack. Other than the babies we've lost, he is the first person I've cried over, ever. I'm not a crier, I just don't cry when people die, no matter how sad I might be. I tend to be a "doer", just tell me what I can do for you, and I'll do it. I've wondered if maybe I don't cry because most of the friends and family I've lost hadn't been actively in my life for years at the time of their death, but I hadn't seen Kent in 17 years!  He had gone through some of his own problems and moved away and, as people do, we just lost touch. The last time I saw him was the day I was moving into my own apartment after my divorce in '98. He just happened to show up in town that day and came and helped us move my stuff up to the fourth floor of a crappy apartment. He actually had been a groomsmen in my first wedding. I do hope we're done with funerals for the time being. Stay alive, people! *sigh* It was really nice to have Rachel here for a few days after all that. Poor girl has had her own trouble; she had to have her gall bladder out last week! She is healing well, and is so happy to be done with that pain, though! And, just look at that adorable baby she gets to see all day, every day! She is just the happiest baby, unless she is tired and a man is talking to her, poor guys, haha! For some reason when any of her grandpas or "adopted" grandpas  talk to her when she is tired, she starts crying. Hopefully a short phase, I really feel bad for them all! Well, I'm sure this was all rather rambly and weird, buy I'm still emotionally spent. Here's to a better week, hopefully month!!

Friday, May 1, 2015

Blooming Rhodies and Goats

    Weird title, really, because goats should not eat rhodies, bad; but hey, our rhodies are  blooming! I love them, but wish they lasted longer! I'm hoping to move the swing to the backyard eventually, and add to it, Right now it's pretty near to where I'm desperately hoping to get a clothesline put in!! Today is perfect weather for hanging laundry, *sigh*
     First thing this morning, as usual lately, Dipper got out of the goat pen to get his own breakfast. He figured out that he is tall enough to show off to the other two goats and feast on their favorite tree. They get so excited in the Fall, when the leaves start dropping, it's adorable. We don't have a nice, tall, permanent pen for them, we had to get one up so quickly when we started with goats. Unfortunately fences cost money, ugh. We were also hoping they wouldn't get too tall, but...he, at least, did, haha. We aren't surprised, we got to meet his father, and that guy is HUGE!!! As in, started rethinking the baby goats we were there to get. Mia just adores those goats. She gets a little nervous because they do accidentally knock her down, but she'll grow. She is finally fully in undies now. We are a diaper free family. I know a lot of people get excited over that, but it doesn't really do anything for me. Probably because even though I don't crave my own baby anymore, I do still crave my own toddler/preschool age kids, heehee. I love having little kids. I love having big kids, too, I think I've said before, but I love where we are right now, with kids spanning every age! Anyway, I am getting this afternoon to myself! Does that sound like just the opposite of what I just said? Haha, not really. I'm getting the afternoon to clean, uninterrupted! Our projects have left the whole downstairs pretty cluttered, finding time to focus  on finishing the sorting and putting away has been pretty impossible. David was already wanting to take the kids and me to see a movie today, so I begged off and asked Meemaw to watch Mia.  Is it weird to be super excited about cleaning? 'Cause I am!! I did make time to build this set of shelves, we always need more room to store books!! The only "downside" to having a bunch of bookworms. I love it!  I'm removing the dark wallpaper behind it, I had started painting it all white, but really prefer a smoother wall these days. Every wall in that little hallway is actually a different color. So awful, but glad I realized why I wasn't liking it. The wood was free, I removed it from a cupboard we were using as a pantry cupboard in our laundry room. It was fairly ineffective and blocked a window. Windows are the only form of ventilation in there, and I'm hoping by having better access, maybe I can at least hang *some* laundry in there to dry - and have it actually get dry rather than still damp and covered in mildew. Our shower is in there, which I'm sure doesn't help, but we're also at sea level, right next to a river. My parents live next to the same river, but on a hill, and it makes a huge difference! She hangs laundry out all the time and it dries just fine. A fan is definitely on our list of projects, but they add up quick! Well, this was going to be short, pretty sure I'm incapable of short!